


What no one else Saw

by Adashi_Justice



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Author is salty about VLD season 7, Comforting Keith, Gay Couple, Hurt & Healing, Justice for Adam, M/M, Mourning Shiro, Shiro with actual emotions about his dead boyfriend, Voltron Season 7 Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-11
Updated: 2018-08-11
Packaged: 2019-06-25 15:34:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15643710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adashi_Justice/pseuds/Adashi_Justice
Summary: Shiro has some feels, Keith provides comfort.





	What no one else Saw

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly, I'm just pissed about season 7. So instead, I'm gonna pretend that something like this happened off screen.
> 
> Enjoy!

_'Adam...I'm sorry,'_

Shiro had made plenty of apologies throughout the course of his life, but he never meant the words more than he did right in that moment. His voice nearly cracked and he had to purse his lips together as he slid his fingers over the image of Adam's face and name on that tiny plaque, neatly lined up with all of the other lost souls that the invasion had claimed from the garrison. It wasn't fair that Adam was included in the sea of losses. Adam didn't deserve that. Adam deserved more than that. Adam deserved nothing but the best, and Shiro never deserved him in the first place. 

It just wasn't fair. 

Shiro forced himself to swallow, his throat still dry from the realization that the man that he'd loved was gone, had been wiped from this earth without leaving even a trace. He barely even registered being called away for the debriefing by Commander Iverson, and he found himself nodding numbly, his entire body feeling too heavy to move without mass amounts of efforts. 

All he could do was continue staring at Adam's picture, and it filled his stomach with regret and guilt. But no matter what he was feeling, he had to hold it together, had to stay strong, for the sake of everyone else. So he gritted his teeth and finally managed to tear his gaze away from that tiny picture – the one thing left of Adam, before he croaked out a few short words, “I'll be there in a minute,” His voice was quiet, and he couldn't hide the way that it quivered. When he turned to meet Commander Iverson and saw the look on his face, there was no doubt in his mind that the older man noticed it too.

A firm hand clapped down on Shiro's shoulder in a supportive gesture, “Be down in twenty,”

Shiro's heart clenched and he found himself nodding automatically, not bothering to question the commander. 

Commander Iverson had been one of the first people in the garrison to notice how close Shiro and Adam were getting. Their relationship had developed quietly over time, going from flight partners, to friends, to room-mates, and to lovers. The initial switch had been a little jarring and confusing for Shiro, someone who had never really considered that he might just fall in love with a man before. But when Adam gazed his fingers one morning as he passed a cup of coffee to him, it was like a switch had been flipped inside of Shiro, and even he could tell that his face must have gone completely red with embarrassment. Shiro still remembered the meek little smile that fluttered over Adam's lips before the other male quickly turned away, pouring more sugar into his coffee distract himself – even though it was clear that it was now far too sweet by the expression that overtook Adam's face when he took a sip.

After that, it began escalating more quickly, snowballing into daydreaming little glances at each other, and more purposeful touches between the two of them. Shiro would never forget the look on Commander Iverson's face when he heard Shiro mutter a quick accidental, 'I love you,' to Adam when he hung up the phone after Iverson had asked Shiro to call Adam for his whereabouts. Commander Iverson never brought it up, he only gave a smile and a nod, and continued their conversation – It was clearly the man's way of saying that he supported their relationship, even if he wasn't the type to outright say it. Still, it meant the world to Shiro that Iverson wasn't going to blow this out of proportion. Shiro and Adam's relationship wasn't anything to over-glorify, or shun. It was just another relationship, and relationships happened every day. Well, that's what Shiro tried to tell himself, but the truth is that what they had was special. Adam was special, and now he was gone.

Once Commander Iverson turned his back and disappeared, Shiro finally found the strength to move. He took his leave down a hall and headed to one of the rooms where beds where laid out for rest. After a quick glance to ensure that no one else was straggling behind, Shiro locked the room behind him, no sooner than the door had latched, he felt his defenses finally crumble. All of those emotions that he was holding back, that he was trying to force down, just to put on a brave face finally came crashing over him. 

And he screamed. 

In frustration, and sadness, and anger, and a million other bitter emotions that were piling up at the back of his throat. 

He kicked one of the cots, causing a loud crash to echo through the empty room before he used one arm to overturn the cot next to him, causing blankets and pillows to scatter over the floor. His entire body ran with adrenaline, and for a few long moments, he couldn't stop himself from reeking havoc on the empty cots, “Dammit!” He cursed, squeezing his eyes shut when he finally felt the hot tears streaming down his face. Eventually, he collapsed to the ground, dropping onto his knees and shrugging his shoulders up to his ears as he dropped his head forward, “I shouldn't have left you, Adam,” He sobbed as he balled up his fist and slammed it on the ground, “If I stayed, I could have...” 

Could have saved you. 

I wouldn't have let you die. 

His brain spun in a fury and his sobs became so violent, that he purposely had to focus on breathing, otherwise, he may have just found himself passing out. There was a part of him that felt ashamed for acting this way. A leader shouldn't let themselves go like this. While he wasn't the leader of Voltron anymore, there were still people that looked up to him, and he couldn't let them down like this. He couldn't be weak. 

Shiro didn't know how long he stayed like that, long enough at least for the tears on his face to dry and leave trails painted on his face. Eventually, there was a frantic knocking at the door behind him. 

“Shiro! Shiro are you in there!? What's going on!?”

Keith.

Shiro's stomach dropped, “It's nothing, I'm fine,” Shiro called back, his voice quaking.

“You're not fine, let me in!” Keith protested, voice louder this time.

Shiro knew that he wasn't going to win this argument, so he pushed himself to his legs, his knees trembling as he moved to the door and opened it, tugging Keith inside before the younger man had a chance to protest. 

“Shiro, what's g-?”

But Shiro interrupted him quickly, “Don't tell anyone about this, alright, Keith. Let's just keep this between us,”

Keith's expression became somber and concerned as the door latched behind them, “Alright, I won't say anything, but just tell me what's going on,” He demanded, furrowing his brow in worry. 

Shiro sighed as he turned and moved to one of the cots that was still upright before he took a seat, planting his elbow on his knee and hunching over, “I never really told any of you, but...” He began as Keith moved over sitting on the cot in front of Shiro, “...But I had someone waiting for me on Earth,” Shiro sighed, “Someone very important to me,”

Keith opened his mouth for a moment, but quickly shut it. He wanted to hear what Takashi had to say, wanted to know what could have reduced Shiro to this frantic mess.

“Do you remember my flight partner...” Shiro began, slowly raising his head, “Adam?” 

Keith nodded, “Yeah...You two were always together,” But Keith never picked up on the extent that they were together, it seemed. 

Shiro swallowed, not entirely sure if he was ready to admit this or not, “He died during the invasion four years ago, because he took my place when I went on the Kerberos mission,” 

Keith's expression fell, “Shiro...There's nothing you could have done,” Keith already seemed to know that Shiro was blaming himself for Adam's death.

Shiro didn't fully believe that, he still believed that if he'd stayed, he could have saved Adam, “I know...I know, it's not that,” But it was, “But, Adam and I,” Shiro looked away, unable to meet Keith's gaze, wondering if the boy would still have the same amount of respect for him once he knew what Adam was to him, “We were engaged,” Quick, like a band-aid, it was the best way.

For a few long moments, there was nothing but silence. If a pin had dropped, it would have sounded like a grenade. As he sat there, Shiro squeezed his eyes shut, expecting Keith to be disgusted, to stomp out of the room and say that he couldn't believe what Shiro had just said, but that never happened, instead he suddenly felt a hand on the back of his own. Soft, warm, and comforting.

Shiro lifted his head and met with Keith who was leaning forward with a determined, but saddened look on his face now, “Shiro...I am so sorry that you've had to go through this,” He began. Shiro couldn't help but be caught off guard by Keith's reaction. 

“Keith, You don't...You don't think it's...” Shiro wasn't sure how to word what he was feeling, “You're okay with this....with me?”

“Okay?” Keith started, “Why wouldn't I be? Shiro, You've been like a brother to me for years, and this isn't going to change that,” He explained, turning his hand to squeeze onto Shiro's grip, “But this isn't about how I feel about this, Shiro. This is about you,” He continued. Shiro had only just found out that he'd lost his fiance in the invasion, the poor guy must have been completely devastated, “Listen, I know that asking if you're okay is dumb, so I won't, but just...look, if there's anything that I can do,” Keith said these things with conviction, and with nothing but full support, and Shiro couldn't help but lift his hand, wrapping it behind Keith's back and suddenly pulling the younger man into his grip. 

Before Keith knew what was happening, Shiro's face was nestled into the crook of his neck, and he felt Shiro's breath against his skin, “Keith...Thank you, I just...” Shiro held tight onto Keith and the younger man twisted in his grip, trying to make the awkward angle a little less painful before he wrapped his arms around Shiro's back, “I can't believe he's really gone...” Tears came back into Shiro's eyes, but they weren't bitter and angry like before, instead, these were the tears of a heart-broken lover, of someone who had lost his entire world. 

Keith sighed and subconsciously stroked a hand over Shiro's back, “We've lost a lot of good people,” He grimaced gently, recalling the large plaque of fallen soldiers, and actually feeling bad that he hadn't noticed Adam among them. He was aware of Adam, but he'd always gotten along with Shiro more – Besides that, Adam seemed perpetually busy, never really had much time to talk, “I know it's hard when you lose someone, but I know that he wouldn't want to see you like this, Shiro,” Keith said gently, letting out a soft sigh.

“No...No, you don't understand, I abandoned him...” Shiro cut in, letting Keith just a little deeper into what was really bothering him, “He asked me not to go, he was worried about me, but I chose the garrison over him. I left him here alone,” Shiro's fingers gripped tight into Keith's shirt and Keith frowned, pulling away just enough to lift Shiro's face with both hands. 

“Don't you do that, Shiro,” Keith chided, “You can't just wallow in the past, you're gonna drive yourself crazy like that. You can sit here wondering what you could have done to save him, and blame yourself, or you can make sure that his sacrifice isn't a waste,” 

Keith's response surprised Shiro, but deep down, Shiro knew that he was right. Shiro wiped his hand over his face, “But I...”

“Shiro,” Keith interjected before Shiro got another chance to blame himself, “When you died, I blamed myself, I kept running through all these different outcomes of how I could have saved you, but it didn't do me any good at all,” Keith relaxed his grip and moved his hands to Shiro's shoulders, “You wanna know what did help?” Shiro didn't have time to nod before Keith continued, “I thought about how you were always there for me, how you believed in me when no one else did,” Keith let a soft smile lift up the corner of his mouth, “Instead of blaming yourself, think about those times that you shared with him that you wouldn't trade for the world, think about how much you loved him, and all those dumb little things that couples in love do, okay? You're going to make this so much easier on yourself if you don't turn yourself into the bad guy. Adam's gone, but you don't have to let what you two had go to waste, it's still worth something, it's worth remembering, and it's worth treasuring,” 

That resonated with Shiro and he grit down his teeth as he nodded, “Keith, You're...You're right,” He agreed, recalling how those butterflies filled his stomach every time he and Adam were in the same room together, and how Adam became more and more gorgeous in his eyes with every passing day. 

“Good,” Keith nodded in determination before he moved to take a seat next to Shiro. 

Shiro made a move to stand, “We should get to the debriefing,”

Keith quickly pulled him down, “They can wait...” He smiled in Shiro's direction, knowing that Shiro had a lot of healing to do, but Keith could help him take baby steps, “Y'know, I was never in any of Adam's classes, tell me about him,” Keith urged, “You have any awkward dating stories? Come on, everyone has at least one,”

Shiro sighed and gave a breathy laugh, “Well...One time, we went to the county fair together...He begged me not to tell anyone that he was deathly afraid of goats after that...” Shiro couldn't help but grin at the memory, bursting into a tearful laughter at the memory of a goat furiously chewing at Adam's pant leg while Adam loudly demanded that Takashi be useful and get the bloody thing off of him.

**Author's Note:**

> This is most likely to be a one-shot, I just really had to get some feels about the newest season out. The way that they handled Adam was completely incompetent, and nothing more than a bunch of ridiculous queerbaiting - I don't care how they try to justify it, they played us all for fools. So essentially, this is my answer for what I feel they COULD have done to justify killing off Adam in the same season we learn about him. It was a little rushed because I'm still annoyed and grumpy over the show, but hopefully it's interesting to someone out there!


End file.
